Londoners love fried chicken

16 October 2006 at 4.39 pm | In food, wtf? | 2 Comments

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As of this morning I have seen 13 different fried chicken chains in London. They are as follows:

Kentucky Fried Chicken (predictably)
Tennessee Fried Chicken (what’s different about Kentucky and Tennessee fried chicken?)
Dallas Fried Chicken (Texas must have been feeling left out)
Southern Fried Chicken (but, oddly, no Northern, Eastern, or Western equivalents)
Halal Fried Chicken (I swear I’m not making this up)
Mmm Fried Chicken (bet it took minutes to come up with that catchy name)
American Fried Chicken (in case Kentucky, Tennessee, Dallas, and Southern weren’t ‘American’ enough?)
Tantalise Fried Chicken (what?!)
Fantastic Fried Chicken (almost rolls off the tongue like ‘Fantastic Four’)
City Fresh Fried Chicken (what, as opposed to ‘City Putrid Fried Chicken’?)
Chicken Cottage
Chicken Palace
Chicken Village

Now, the last three in particular caught my eye. I wonder if Chicken Cottage came along first and then someone else wanted to open a rival fast-food fried chicken joint and thought, “Hmm, ‘Chicken Palace’ sounds so much more upscale and classy. That’s a winner for sure!” Then along came a third chicken entrepreneur who decided that if there can be cottages and palaces of chicken, why not an entire village? And indeed, why not?

Personally, I do not believe the market it fully saturated yet and thus I propose something along the lines of Fried Chickens ‘R’ Us (obviously with the backwards ‘R’ a la Toys and Kids ‘R’ Us, but I don’t really know how to do that on the computer so use your imagination…). I think it really has a nice ring to it.

The ginormous international conspiracy to ruin my day…

23 August 2006 at 1.50 pm | In weather, wtf? | 2 Comments

Have you ever had one of those days where you think back to the moment you threw the covers off and got out of bed, only to wish you had pulled them back up and gone back to sleep? Welcome to my day. Everything started out well enough- I got up at 8 and showered, got ready and headed down to catch a bus into school. For whatever reason the buses were few and far between, so I hopped on a 19 instead of an 11, knowing I’d have to walk a little longer when I got off, but oh well. Apparently getting on the bus was going to be the easiest part of my morning. It took, no joke, 25 minutes to get up the King’s Road. As I can walk it in less than 15 I should have gotten off and walked, but I kept, mistakenly, thinking that we’d get going soon. I’d had enough once we made it to Sloane Square, so I hopped off and decided to catch the tube. Yeah, good decision. I got to the platform only to see no trains listed and to hear the announcement that due to an earlier security alert there were severe delays on both the Circle and District lines. So color me happy as I waited another 20 minutes for a train. At least once I was on it, it only took about 12 minutes to get to school, but still…

To make matters worse, I tried to check my Yahoo and Gmail accounts this morning before heading off, but both informed me that my username and password were invalid. This really confused me because a) I’ve not changed my password recently, b) neither account is new and I’ve been using them successfully for a while now, and c) I had access to them at about 2.30 this morning. So I comforted myself by assuming that something was wrong with my computer/browser at home and all would be right once I came to school.

Well, I get to school (massively later than I’d planned) only to find that I still can’t log-in to my accounts. Imagine a very, very, very pissed off girl fuming (quietly, of course, as I was in the library) at her computer. I’ve emailed both Yahoo and Gmail’s customer service helpline thing-a-ma-bobbers, but have not received much in the way of help. I get standard answers suggesting that I refresh my browser or download a new browser. Those aren’t the bloody problems, are they?! No, read my actual email and get an actual person to try to figure it out. It is now 1.45 in the afternoon and I still have no access. Great, really helpful for my life.

I have not been this frustrated about anything in a long time. I don’t understand how all of a sudden my usernames and passwords could just become invalid and not work, particularly since they worked less than 12 hours ago. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Clearly it’s all a ploy to ruin my day- Transport for London, Google and Yahoo have joined forces (along with Carphone Warehouse because my cell phone is also on the blink today) to do everything in their power to mess up my day. Yes, that has to be the answer. Also, it rained on my when I was walking to Carphone Warehouse to see what’s up with my phone (According to them nothing’s wrong. I ask you then, WHY THE HELL ISN’T IT WORKING PROPERLY?!)

More (attempted) ATM thefts!

16 August 2006 at 3.28 pm | In current events, wtf? | Leave a Comment

I think the local ATM thieves ought to take their show on the road because over in Malaysia, it looks like the wannabe thieves could use some help… There haven’t been any more reported ATM thefts in the Greater Pittsburgh Area recently, but the phenomenon is apparently not confined to the US. One attempt at stealing a cash machine in Malaysia had to be abandoned because the digger they were using got stuck in the bank from which they were trying to, umm, liberate the ATM. Yeah… two questions:

1) Do you just rent a massive digger and then drive it up to a bank, real nonchalently, hoping that no one notices?

2) How would said digger function as a getaway vehicle? I can’t imagine it hits very high speeds and it’s not the most inconspicuous form of transportation available.

Anyway, I think our local ATM boys need to get a flight over to Kuala Lampur and teach those Malaysian boys how to steal some ATMs.

I didn’t know what to laugh at…

29 July 2006 at 11.29 am | In current events, weather, wtf? | Leave a Comment

An article in the Telegraph recounted the details of a young woman who performed an impromptu striptease at an agricultural show in Wales. At first I thought the striptease itself was the funny part, being that these agricultural shows are probably not exactly a hotbed of attractive folks, but then I read this line from the article and just completely lost it. Like snorting and crying as I’m laughing so hard that I can barely breathe properly.

“The show in Builth Wells, mid Wales, is a high point of the agricultural calendar, this year attracting a record 240,140 visitors over four days.”

Couple of things:

1) Can there actually be ‘a high point of the agricultural calendar’?

2) 240,140 people?! WTF?! What are these people doing at an agricultural show in Wales when the weather has been gorgeous for the past 2 weeks? Clearly that number is made up, or at least counts repeat patrons. No way 240,140 different people showed up to this thing. Perhaps some of them heard rumors of the impending striptease and hoped to sneak a peak…

Also, you should know that the woman, who was hosed down with water usually used to wash the cattle in an attempt to restrain her (I know. I’m laughing as I type. Seriously?!), threw her thong into the crowd at the end, but it was kindly returned to her on the end of a pitchfork.

That’s it, for now. But, really, wasn’t that more than enough?

There’s been an escape!

26 July 2006 at 9.36 pm | In wtf? | Leave a Comment

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But not of prisoners from a jail, of a kangaroo from a circus. In Kinsale, Ireland, right before the show was about to begin, Sydney decided to take a little walk. Circus staff searched for the 2 year old kangaroo for four hours, but Hoppy (as he’s been renamed by the locals in the area) managed to avoid capture and is still roaming free.

I don’t know about you, but I might freak out a little bit if I looked out my window and saw a kangaroo hopping happily (ha! alliteration!) through my garden. Particularly since- the last I heard- kangaroos aren’t indigenous to Ireland. But that’s just me. Wouldn’t stop me from trying to pet him, though… And probably getting bitten in the process. But hey- it’s a kangaroo. In Ireland. Roaming free. How often do you see that?!

Also, on a more personal note: I was brutally attacked by yet another winged devil (read: pigeon) this evening. As I was walking around LSE, a pigeon took off near me and his wing clipped my head. At first I thought I was probably just imagining that it touched me, but then two girls walked up and shrieked, “Oh my God! That pigeon just hit you in the head! Gross!” (Sidenote: Yes, they were American) I personally wanted to reply, “Yes, thank you, I know,” in a really snarky voice. However, I refrained, smiled and kept walking… Otherwise I might have a) been rude a la the above comment, b) smacked them for being so annoying, or c) both a and b.

We suck. A lot.

28 June 2006 at 5.54 pm | In home, sports, wtf? | 1 Comment

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Even the players know it. Look at that first picture. Head in hands, probably crying his eyes out after their 12th consecutive loss. I know I would be. I don’t even know why I’m writing this post, considering I don’t even like baseball all that much. Perhaps I feel compelled as a Pittsburgher to take notice of my town’s sports teams. If that’s the case, then let me just say thank goodness for the Steelers (cause the Penguins certainly aren’t doing us too proud, either)!

At the end of this season the Pirates will have notched up 14 losing seasons in a row. That’s more than half my life that this team has been losing and doing it in spectacular fashion. I vaguely remember the good old days of Andy Van Slyke, Barry Bonds, Bobby Bonilla, Sid Bream, Jay Bell and Doug Drabek with Manager Jim Leyland. Those were the days when we won 3 divison titles in 3 years, though we never made it to the World Series… I loved Andy Van Slyke, number 18. I had a little-girl crush on him and was convinced he was going to be a Pirate forever, so that when I was older we could get married and live in Pittsburgh. With the benefit of hindsight I realize he was a tad too old for me (being that he was born in 1960 and I was born 22 years later…)

I have a few memories of going to Pirates games with my parents and sister, and I remember being extremely excited by the prospect of going to Three Rivers to see the Buccos play. Not anymore. Last summer I probably went to more games in 3 months than I’d been to in my whole life, but the only time I ever got excited was when the game had ended and the fireworks started (amazing views over the rivers!).

An enterprising group of Pirate fans have formed an internet group called Iratefans.com to show their displeasure with the direction of our baseball team. Check out the second picture at the top of this post or go to this article to see an example of their stellar shirts… At this point it’s useless to even hope. Our only chance is to sell the team to Mark Cuban (actually it would probably make more sense to pay him to take over) and while we’re at it, we should give him the Penguins, too.

You know what? We should just have Mark Cuban take over the entire city in order to rescue us from our financially distressed status. After all he says, “I’m a Pittsburgh fan.” And he’s a local. We should start a petition. Someone get on that.

Stars Are Blind? Maybe I’m deaf…

22 June 2006 at 1.06 pm | In fashion, music, wtf? | 2 Comments

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As painful as this is for me to admit, I like Paris Hilton's song and video for 'Stars Are Blind'. A lot. So much that I would consider purchasing her CD when it comes out. I think that all the studying has finally driven me insane. Though it is nice to see her "work" for a living instead of just prance around in lingerie, I mean teeny-tiny little dresses, from party to party, spending Rick and Kathy's hotel money. You go, Paris.

An anti-flag burning amendment? It must be summer…

20 June 2006 at 1.04 pm | In current events, wtf? | 1 Comment

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Once again, in that span of time between Flag Day and Independence Day the US Senate has, in their infinite wisdom, decided that it's time to introduce an anti-flag burning amendment. Every summer this happens, and every summer I get mad at the ridiculous nature of this proposed amendment. I wrote a post on my online journal last 15 June about just this topic and I think it's quite relevant again this summer:

Every state has passed some form of resolution that urges the US Congress to pass an amendment outlawing flag burning. This is a complete and utter outrage and it's driven by right-wing Republicans bent on making everyone hold the same values and ideals as themselves and, unfortunately, supported by several Democrats who are up for re-election and desperate to prove that they can be as patriotic as the Republicans. Excuse me for pointing out that sometimes dissent is the purest and truest form of patriotism and the idea of freedom of speech is basically ridiculed and reduced to a quaint notion no longer practicable if this country starts to regulate something like this which has no physical impact on anyone other than the person expressing his or her dissent.

In 1989 the US Supreme Court, in Texas v. Johnson, concluded that flag desecration was expressive conduct which is protected under the First Amendment. This ruling overturned a Texas state statute that made such actions illegal. Since 1989, virtually every summer this issue has come before Congress and always been defeated in the Senate after it was passed in the House. However, with the larger Republican majority and the already-stated support of several Democrats, it is closer to happening than ever before. In the 1989 ruling, the majority opinion authored by Mr. Justice Brennan stated that, "We do not consecrate the flag by punishing its desecration, for in doing so we dilute the freedom that this cherished emblem represents…" The concurring opinion, authored by Mr. Justice Kennedy, made the lucid and reasonable point that, "The flag [as am emblem of our nation and embodying the freedoms and liberties we cherish] protects those who hold it in contempt."

The flag of the United States of America is a visual reminder of what this nation holds precious- the freedoms and protections guaranteed in the Constitution. We are, ostensibly, a democratic nation which reveres the opinions of its citizens. Currently, we are involved in a War on Terror that seeks to spread democracy and freedom to oppressed peoples. It makes no sense at all that while we are so busy trying to spread these ideals around the world, we would restrict them at home. Yes, the flag embodies and signifies America. But it is not America. It is not the heart and soul of this nation. The people who live and work here, the men and women who so bravely serve in our military- these are the heart and soul of this nation. Nothing can change their fundamental love for this country or their dedication to service. But if we pass a Constitutional amendment banning flag desecration we're stooping to the level of Iran or North Korea, both countries with totalitarian regimes that oppress the people living there.

It hurts to see someone burn so poignant a symbol as the flag, but, as Mr. Justice Brennan wrote, "The way to preserve the flag's special role is not to punish those who feel differently about these matters. It is to persuade them that they are wrong… And, precisely because it is our flag that is involved, one's response to the flag-burner may exploit the uniquely persuasive power of the flag itself. We can imagine no more appropriate response to burning a flag than waving one's own, no better way to counter a flag-burner's message than by saluting the flag that burns, no surer means of preserving the dignity even of the flag that burned than by according its remains a respectful burial." This country was founded by a group of men who opposed their government because they were not afforded many of the freedoms we take for granted today. If we want to honor their memories we must uphold the right of dissenters to burn the American flag because they are exercising their Constitutional right to protest. Former Secretary of State Colin Powell argued in 1999 that destroying a piece of cloth has no ability to damage a system built on tolerance for protest. He also said, "The First Amendment exists to ensure that freedom of speech and expression applies not just to that with which we agree or disagree, but also that which we find outrageous… The flag will still be flying proudly long after [the protesters] have slunk away."

I believe that the only way to truly desecrate the American flag is to undermine the freedoms it represents. A Constitutional amendment (consequently, only the second in history to restrict instead of expand the freedoms of US citizens) restricting freedom of expression undercuts the values upon which this nation was built and weakens our position in the world as a beacon of democracy.

Just say no… to manpris

15 June 2006 at 1.22 pm | In fashion, wtf? | Leave a Comment

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Manpris must be stopped! Men, I know it's tempting to show a little bit of calf now that it's getting downright hot outside, but please resist. Wearing manpris (i.e. capri pants for men) makes you look stupid. I promise. It's not a good look.

Unfortunately, mirrors seem to be lacking in the houses of many men this year. What other explanation could there possibly be for the sheer ridiculousness of this trend? As a woman, I'm asking you all to please wear either regular-length trousers or proper shorts- not some amalgamation of the two that makes you look like you can't dress yourself. Much appreciated.

Oh, Benny!

13 June 2006 at 2.54 pm | In Steelers, sports, wtf? | 1 Comment

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The first picture is the car windshield off which Ben apparently bounced when he was involved in a motorcycle crash yesterday morning. The second is his smashed up motorcycle. Damn.

First, thank God Benny’s going to be OK. I really don’t know what Steelers Nation would have done if Ben had been injured more seriously or even died. Granted, we still don’t know everything that happened, but the reports from Mercy Hospital after seven hours of surgery are that Ben is in serious but stable condition, which is encouraging. We love you, Big Ben!!

Second, Mr. Youngest-Quarterback-to-Win-the-Super-Bowl Roethlisberger wasn’t wearing a helmet, which isn’t against the law in Pennsylvania or prohibited by his contract, so it wasn’t illegal or a breach of contract, just bad judgement. Really bad judgement. Perhaps we shouldn’t be asking why he felt the need to tempt Fate by riding helmetless. The time for that can come once he’s well on his way to recovery. Perhaps the question we ought to be asking is this one, posed by Gene Collier in today’s Post-Gazette: ‘How long does it take to repair a quarterback who hits a windshield, spider-webs it like a 240-pound brick, and then bounces off the pavement?’

Until we have any more information, let’s just keep Ben and his family in our thoughts. Get well quick, Benny!

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