More (attempted) ATM thefts!
16 August 2006 at 3.28 pm | In current events, wtf? | Leave a CommentI think the local ATM thieves ought to take their show on the road because over in Malaysia, it looks like the wannabe thieves could use some help… There haven’t been any more reported ATM thefts in the Greater Pittsburgh Area recently, but the phenomenon is apparently not confined to the US. One attempt at stealing a cash machine in Malaysia had to be abandoned because the digger they were using got stuck in the bank from which they were trying to, umm, liberate the ATM. Yeah… two questions:
1) Do you just rent a massive digger and then drive it up to a bank, real nonchalently, hoping that no one notices?
2) How would said digger function as a getaway vehicle? I can’t imagine it hits very high speeds and it’s not the most inconspicuous form of transportation available.
Anyway, I think our local ATM boys need to get a flight over to Kuala Lampur and teach those Malaysian boys how to steal some ATMs.
Welcome to Pittsburgh
31 July 2006 at 3.27 pm | In Steelers, current events, sports | 4 CommentsCheck out the Post-Gazette homepage. No fewer than six stories/multimedia presentations about the Steelers and training camp are linked towards the top of the page. The headline about Israel resuming jet attacks on southern Lebanon sort of blends into the the header, huh? No wonder I laughed so hard when I saw this satiric post on Carbolic Smoke Ball… It’s the truth, damnit. Now that training camp has officially started I honestly don’t think most Burghers would know, or really care, if World War III broke out. We have something much more important upon which to concentrate- the 2006-2007 Steelers football season.
The only time all season we’ll see such unguarded emotion on Bill ‘The Chin’ Cowher’s face.
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Benny, looking quite fit despite his motorcycle accident earlier this summer.
Look how skinny these boys look without all their gear. Crazy!
Oh, and this girl is clearly mistaken. I’m Ben’s future wife.
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I didn’t know what to laugh at…
29 July 2006 at 11.29 am | In current events, weather, wtf? | Leave a CommentAn article in the Telegraph recounted the details of a young woman who performed an impromptu striptease at an agricultural show in Wales. At first I thought the striptease itself was the funny part, being that these agricultural shows are probably not exactly a hotbed of attractive folks, but then I read this line from the article and just completely lost it. Like snorting and crying as I’m laughing so hard that I can barely breathe properly.
“The show in Builth Wells, mid Wales, is a high point of the agricultural calendar, this year attracting a record 240,140 visitors over four days.”
Couple of things:
1) Can there actually be ‘a high point of the agricultural calendar’?
2) 240,140 people?! WTF?! What are these people doing at an agricultural show in Wales when the weather has been gorgeous for the past 2 weeks? Clearly that number is made up, or at least counts repeat patrons. No way 240,140 different people showed up to this thing. Perhaps some of them heard rumors of the impending striptease and hoped to sneak a peak…
Also, you should know that the woman, who was hosed down with water usually used to wash the cattle in an attempt to restrain her (I know. I’m laughing as I type. Seriously?!), threw her thong into the crowd at the end, but it was kindly returned to her on the end of a pitchfork.
That’s it, for now. But, really, wasn’t that more than enough?
You go, Arlen!
25 July 2006 at 12.05 pm | In current events, politics | Leave a CommentI’ve always had a soft-spot for Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) because he’s one of those rare politicians who tends to stop and think before voting. He doesn’t kowtow to either the Republicans or the Democrats- he does what he thinks will be best for his constituents, even if it goes against the prevailing ideas inside his own party. His decision to prepare legislation allowing Congress to sue President Bush over the use of signing statements is both bold and necessary, proving once again that he makes a great Chairman of the Judiciary Committee.
If only PA’s junior senator would behave more like Specter… But that will probably never happen since he’s an unethical, misogynistic, “Moral Majority”-supporting crazy.
An anti-flag burning amendment? It must be summer…
20 June 2006 at 1.04 pm | In current events, wtf? | 1 Comment
Once again, in that span of time between Flag Day and Independence Day the US Senate has, in their infinite wisdom, decided that it's time to introduce an anti-flag burning amendment. Every summer this happens, and every summer I get mad at the ridiculous nature of this proposed amendment. I wrote a post on my online journal last 15 June about just this topic and I think it's quite relevant again this summer:
Every state has passed some form of resolution that urges the US Congress to pass an amendment outlawing flag burning. This is a complete and utter outrage and it's driven by right-wing Republicans bent on making everyone hold the same values and ideals as themselves and, unfortunately, supported by several Democrats who are up for re-election and desperate to prove that they can be as patriotic as the Republicans. Excuse me for pointing out that sometimes dissent is the purest and truest form of patriotism and the idea of freedom of speech is basically ridiculed and reduced to a quaint notion no longer practicable if this country starts to regulate something like this which has no physical impact on anyone other than the person expressing his or her dissent.
In 1989 the US Supreme Court, in Texas v. Johnson, concluded that flag desecration was expressive conduct which is protected under the First Amendment. This ruling overturned a Texas state statute that made such actions illegal. Since 1989, virtually every summer this issue has come before Congress and always been defeated in the Senate after it was passed in the House. However, with the larger Republican majority and the already-stated support of several Democrats, it is closer to happening than ever before. In the 1989 ruling, the majority opinion authored by Mr. Justice Brennan stated that, "We do not consecrate the flag by punishing its desecration, for in doing so we dilute the freedom that this cherished emblem represents…" The concurring opinion, authored by Mr. Justice Kennedy, made the lucid and reasonable point that, "The flag [as am emblem of our nation and embodying the freedoms and liberties we cherish] protects those who hold it in contempt."
The flag of the United States of America is a visual reminder of what this nation holds precious- the freedoms and protections guaranteed in the Constitution. We are, ostensibly, a democratic nation which reveres the opinions of its citizens. Currently, we are involved in a War on Terror that seeks to spread democracy and freedom to oppressed peoples. It makes no sense at all that while we are so busy trying to spread these ideals around the world, we would restrict them at home. Yes, the flag embodies and signifies America. But it is not America. It is not the heart and soul of this nation. The people who live and work here, the men and women who so bravely serve in our military- these are the heart and soul of this nation. Nothing can change their fundamental love for this country or their dedication to service. But if we pass a Constitutional amendment banning flag desecration we're stooping to the level of Iran or North Korea, both countries with totalitarian regimes that oppress the people living there.
It hurts to see someone burn so poignant a symbol as the flag, but, as Mr. Justice Brennan wrote, "The way to preserve the flag's special role is not to punish those who feel differently about these matters. It is to persuade them that they are wrong… And, precisely because it is our flag that is involved, one's response to the flag-burner may exploit the uniquely persuasive power of the flag itself. We can imagine no more appropriate response to burning a flag than waving one's own, no better way to counter a flag-burner's message than by saluting the flag that burns, no surer means of preserving the dignity even of the flag that burned than by according its remains a respectful burial." This country was founded by a group of men who opposed their government because they were not afforded many of the freedoms we take for granted today. If we want to honor their memories we must uphold the right of dissenters to burn the American flag because they are exercising their Constitutional right to protest. Former Secretary of State Colin Powell argued in 1999 that destroying a piece of cloth has no ability to damage a system built on tolerance for protest. He also said, "The First Amendment exists to ensure that freedom of speech and expression applies not just to that with which we agree or disagree, but also that which we find outrageous… The flag will still be flying proudly long after [the protesters] have slunk away."
I believe that the only way to truly desecrate the American flag is to undermine the freedoms it represents. A Constitutional amendment (consequently, only the second in history to restrict instead of expand the freedoms of US citizens) restricting freedom of expression undercuts the values upon which this nation was built and weakens our position in the world as a beacon of democracy.
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