Rain, Rain Go Away… Oh wait, I live in London.

Blog

So, you may have thought I’d died

13 March 2007 at 6.46 pm | In job | 1 Comment

But, luckily, I didn’t! I’ve just been in a semi-hibernative (<– I just made that up. Spread the word) state since beginning my job search in lovely London. I have to say- being unemployed really sucks. A lot. I thought it would be a bit of a laugh, somewhat like summer vacation or an extended Spring Break (only not in Florida or Jamaica), but it’s kind of a BIG downer. There’s only so many times you can swing by the flower stand on your way home from Starbucks before you realize that you’re not really doing anything worthwhile during your days. Well, aside from applying for jobs.

It’s not that I mind doing laundry, grocery shopping, and occasionally making dinner (in fact, I actually love doing those things…), but being 24 with a BA and an MSc and not being able to find a job is a leetle bit depressing. Don’t you worry, though. I’m sure that as soon as I have a job and have to get up at a certain time (read: waaaay too early), go to an office everyday, and commute into work I’ll be loudly lamenting my long-lost carefree days of unemployment. What can I say? I’m a middle-class American twenty-something. I’m not happy unless I have something to complain about.

Londoners love fried chicken

16 October 2006 at 4.39 pm | In food, wtf? | 2 Comments

As of this morning I have seen 13 different fried chicken chains in London. They are as follows:

Kentucky Fried Chicken (predictably)
Tennessee Fried Chicken (what’s different about Kentucky and Tennessee fried chicken?)
Dallas Fried Chicken (Texas must have been feeling left out)
Southern Fried Chicken (but, oddly, no Northern, Eastern, or Western equivalents)
Halal Fried Chicken (I swear I’m not making this up)
Mmm Fried Chicken (bet it took minutes to come up with that catchy name)
American Fried Chicken (in case Kentucky, Tennessee, Dallas, and Southern weren’t ‘American’ enough?)
Tantalise Fried Chicken (what?!)
Fantastic Fried Chicken (almost rolls off the tongue like ‘Fantastic Four’)
City Fresh Fried Chicken (what, as opposed to ‘City Putrid Fried Chicken’?)
Chicken Cottage
Chicken Palace
Chicken Village

Now, the last three in particular caught my eye. I wonder if Chicken Cottage came along first and then someone else wanted to open a rival fast-food fried chicken joint and thought, “Hmm, ‘Chicken Palace’ sounds so much more upscale and classy. That’s a winner for sure!” Then along came a third chicken entrepreneur who decided that if there can be cottages and palaces of chicken, why not an entire village? And indeed, why not?

Personally, I do not believe the market it fully saturated yet and thus I propose something along the lines of Fried Chickens ‘R’ Us (obviously with the backwards ‘R’ a la Toys and Kids ‘R’ Us, but I don’t really know how to do that on the computer so use your imagination…). I think it really has a nice ring to it.

The ginormous international conspiracy to ruin my day…

23 August 2006 at 1.50 pm | In weather, wtf? | 2 Comments

Have you ever had one of those days where you think back to the moment you threw the covers off and got out of bed, only to wish you had pulled them back up and gone back to sleep? Welcome to my day. Everything started out well enough- I got up at 8 and showered, got ready and headed down to catch a bus into school. For whatever reason the buses were few and far between, so I hopped on a 19 instead of an 11, knowing I’d have to walk a little longer when I got off, but oh well. Apparently getting on the bus was going to be the easiest part of my morning. It took, no joke, 25 minutes to get up the King’s Road. As I can walk it in less than 15 I should have gotten off and walked, but I kept, mistakenly, thinking that we’d get going soon. I’d had enough once we made it to Sloane Square, so I hopped off and decided to catch the tube. Yeah, good decision. I got to the platform only to see no trains listed and to hear the announcement that due to an earlier security alert there were severe delays on both the Circle and District lines. So color me happy as I waited another 20 minutes for a train. At least once I was on it, it only took about 12 minutes to get to school, but still…

To make matters worse, I tried to check my Yahoo and Gmail accounts this morning before heading off, but both informed me that my username and password were invalid. This really confused me because a) I’ve not changed my password recently, b) neither account is new and I’ve been using them successfully for a while now, and c) I had access to them at about 2.30 this morning. So I comforted myself by assuming that something was wrong with my computer/browser at home and all would be right once I came to school.

Well, I get to school (massively later than I’d planned) only to find that I still can’t log-in to my accounts. Imagine a very, very, very pissed off girl fuming (quietly, of course, as I was in the library) at her computer. I’ve emailed both Yahoo and Gmail’s customer service helpline thing-a-ma-bobbers, but have not received much in the way of help. I get standard answers suggesting that I refresh my browser or download a new browser. Those aren’t the bloody problems, are they?! No, read my actual email and get an actual person to try to figure it out. It is now 1.45 in the afternoon and I still have no access. Great, really helpful for my life.

I have not been this frustrated about anything in a long time. I don’t understand how all of a sudden my usernames and passwords could just become invalid and not work, particularly since they worked less than 12 hours ago. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Clearly it’s all a ploy to ruin my day- Transport for London, Google and Yahoo have joined forces (along with Carphone Warehouse because my cell phone is also on the blink today) to do everything in their power to mess up my day. Yes, that has to be the answer. Also, it rained on my when I was walking to Carphone Warehouse to see what’s up with my phone (According to them nothing’s wrong. I ask you then, WHY THE HELL ISN’T IT WORKING PROPERLY?!)

I can’t wait to see him dance…

16 August 2006 at 6.55 pm | In fashion, home, politics | Leave a Comment

My favorite right-wing media whore, Tucker Carlson, has just made my trip home in September better. He has agreed to be on the new season of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars and the show starts 3 days before I come home. I’ve never watched this show before, but I’m definitely having my parents tape that one and then watching all the eps that air while I’m in the States. I have this weird, completely unreasonable crush on him. I think it has something to do with his floppy hair and bow-tie. I really hope they put him in some sort of shiny, spangled, spandexy unitard, but let him keep the bow-tie on.

I don’t usually agree with much that comes out of his mouth, particularly when he was on Crossfire, but I just can’t help the attraction… Sick, I know.

Does anyone happen to share my inexplicable crush? No? It’s just me then? Hey, admitting that I have a problem is the first step toward recovery, right?

More (attempted) ATM thefts!

16 August 2006 at 3.28 pm | In current events, wtf? | Leave a Comment

I think the local ATM thieves ought to take their show on the road because over in Malaysia, it looks like the wannabe thieves could use some help… There haven’t been any more reported ATM thefts in the Greater Pittsburgh Area recently, but the phenomenon is apparently not confined to the US. One attempt at stealing a cash machine in Malaysia had to be abandoned because the digger they were using got stuck in the bank from which they were trying to, umm, liberate the ATM. Yeah… two questions:

1) Do you just rent a massive digger and then drive it up to a bank, real nonchalently, hoping that no one notices?

2) How would said digger function as a getaway vehicle? I can’t imagine it hits very high speeds and it’s not the most inconspicuous form of transportation available.

Anyway, I think our local ATM boys need to get a flight over to Kuala Lampur and teach those Malaysian boys how to steal some ATMs.

Welcome to Pittsburgh

31 July 2006 at 3.27 pm | In Steelers, current events, sports | 4 Comments

Check out the Post-Gazette homepage. No fewer than six stories/multimedia presentations about the Steelers and training camp are linked towards the top of the page. The headline about Israel resuming jet attacks on southern Lebanon sort of blends into the the header, huh? No wonder I laughed so hard when I saw this satiric post on Carbolic Smoke Ball… It’s the truth, damnit. Now that training camp has officially started I honestly don’t think most Burghers would know, or really care, if World War III broke out. We have something much more important upon which to concentrate- the 2006-2007 Steelers football season.

The only time all season we’ll see such unguarded emotion on Bill ‘The Chin’ Cowher’s face.

Benny, looking quite fit despite his motorcycle accident earlier this summer.

Look how skinny these boys look without all their gear. Crazy!

Oh, and this girl is clearly mistaken. I’m Ben’s future wife.

I didn’t know what to laugh at…

29 July 2006 at 11.29 am | In current events, weather, wtf? | Leave a Comment

An article in the Telegraph recounted the details of a young woman who performed an impromptu striptease at an agricultural show in Wales. At first I thought the striptease itself was the funny part, being that these agricultural shows are probably not exactly a hotbed of attractive folks, but then I read this line from the article and just completely lost it. Like snorting and crying as I’m laughing so hard that I can barely breathe properly.

“The show in Builth Wells, mid Wales, is a high point of the agricultural calendar, this year attracting a record 240,140 visitors over four days.”

Couple of things:

1) Can there actually be ‘a high point of the agricultural calendar’?

2) 240,140 people?! WTF?! What are these people doing at an agricultural show in Wales when the weather has been gorgeous for the past 2 weeks? Clearly that number is made up, or at least counts repeat patrons. No way 240,140 different people showed up to this thing. Perhaps some of them heard rumors of the impending striptease and hoped to sneak a peak…

Also, you should know that the woman, who was hosed down with water usually used to wash the cattle in an attempt to restrain her (I know. I’m laughing as I type. Seriously?!), threw her thong into the crowd at the end, but it was kindly returned to her on the end of a pitchfork.

That’s it, for now. But, really, wasn’t that more than enough?

There’s been an escape!

26 July 2006 at 9.36 pm | In wtf? | Leave a Comment

But not of prisoners from a jail, of a kangaroo from a circus. In Kinsale, Ireland, right before the show was about to begin, Sydney decided to take a little walk. Circus staff searched for the 2 year old kangaroo for four hours, but Hoppy (as he’s been renamed by the locals in the area) managed to avoid capture and is still roaming free.

I don’t know about you, but I might freak out a little bit if I looked out my window and saw a kangaroo hopping happily (ha! alliteration!) through my garden. Particularly since- the last I heard- kangaroos aren’t indigenous to Ireland. But that’s just me. Wouldn’t stop me from trying to pet him, though… And probably getting bitten in the process. But hey- it’s a kangaroo. In Ireland. Roaming free. How often do you see that?!

Also, on a more personal note: I was brutally attacked by yet another winged devil (read: pigeon) this evening. As I was walking around LSE, a pigeon took off near me and his wing clipped my head. At first I thought I was probably just imagining that it touched me, but then two girls walked up and shrieked, “Oh my God! That pigeon just hit you in the head! Gross!” (Sidenote: Yes, they were American) I personally wanted to reply, “Yes, thank you, I know,” in a really snarky voice. However, I refrained, smiled and kept walking… Otherwise I might have a) been rude a la the above comment, b) smacked them for being so annoying, or c) both a and b.

You go, Arlen!

25 July 2006 at 12.05 pm | In current events, politics | Leave a Comment

I’ve always had a soft-spot for Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) because he’s one of those rare politicians who tends to stop and think before voting. He doesn’t kowtow to either the Republicans or the Democrats- he does what he thinks will be best for his constituents, even if it goes against the prevailing ideas inside his own party. His decision to prepare legislation allowing Congress to sue President Bush over the use of signing statements is both bold and necessary, proving once again that he makes a great Chairman of the Judiciary Committee.

If only PA’s junior senator would behave more like Specter… But that will probably never happen since he’s an unethical, misogynistic, “Moral Majority”-supporting crazy.

We suck. A lot.

28 June 2006 at 5.54 pm | In home, sports, wtf? | 1 Comment

Even the players know it. Look at that first picture. Head in hands, probably crying his eyes out after their 12th consecutive loss. I know I would be. I don’t even know why I’m writing this post, considering I don’t even like baseball all that much. Perhaps I feel compelled as a Pittsburgher to take notice of my town’s sports teams. If that’s the case, then let me just say thank goodness for the Steelers (cause the Penguins certainly aren’t doing us too proud, either)!

At the end of this season the Pirates will have notched up 14 losing seasons in a row. That’s more than half my life that this team has been losing and doing it in spectacular fashion. I vaguely remember the good old days of Andy Van Slyke, Barry Bonds, Bobby Bonilla, Sid Bream, Jay Bell and Doug Drabek with Manager Jim Leyland. Those were the days when we won 3 divison titles in 3 years, though we never made it to the World Series… I loved Andy Van Slyke, number 18. I had a little-girl crush on him and was convinced he was going to be a Pirate forever, so that when I was older we could get married and live in Pittsburgh. With the benefit of hindsight I realize he was a tad too old for me (being that he was born in 1960 and I was born 22 years later…)

I have a few memories of going to Pirates games with my parents and sister, and I remember being extremely excited by the prospect of going to Three Rivers to see the Buccos play. Not anymore. Last summer I probably went to more games in 3 months than I’d been to in my whole life, but the only time I ever got excited was when the game had ended and the fireworks started (amazing views over the rivers!).

An enterprising group of Pirate fans have formed an internet group called Iratefans.com to show their displeasure with the direction of our baseball team. Check out the second picture at the top of this post or go to this article to see an example of their stellar shirts… At this point it’s useless to even hope. Our only chance is to sell the team to Mark Cuban (actually it would probably make more sense to pay him to take over) and while we’re at it, we should give him the Penguins, too.

You know what? We should just have Mark Cuban take over the entire city in order to rescue us from our financially distressed status. After all he says, “I’m a Pittsburgh fan.” And he’s a local. We should start a petition. Someone get on that.

Blog at WordPress.com. | Theme: Pool by Borja Fernandez.
Entries and comments feeds.